<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>nobody. by erisfawley</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29626752">nobody.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/erisfawley/pseuds/erisfawley'>erisfawley</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Break Up, F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:34:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,695</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29626752</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/erisfawley/pseuds/erisfawley</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>you and johnny just broke up, but you can't escape from eachother.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Suh Youngho | Johnny/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. nobody (her)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Your alarm went off at the usual time, very early in the morning. You found yourself hugging your pillow and feeling cold, sighing out loud you got out of bed and went straight to the bathroom, not without first grabbing your toothbrush so you could get some extra minutes brushing your teeth in the shower. When you opened your drawer to grab it, his toothbrush was still there. Of course you forgot to dump it but whatever, closing it with more force than need it you started to shower. His shampoo was there too, so you turned around, trying to ignore the pain in your chest.</p>
<p>Once you were woke enough you decided it was time to get out the shower and start getting ready to go to work. You had an outfit in mind for today, mostly black, so you started to go through your clothes hanger by hanger. How many of his shirts you had? As soon you arrive home you were going to throw everything but now you were in a hurry, and while doing your make up you looked yourself in the eyes. They were red, and you had some serious eye bags. The break up was very recent, but there was nothing to do about it, time and work were too harsh on your love, and fighting for it didn't seem worth it at that time, neither it does now but it made you think. Would you ever be loved again? With all your flaws? He never seemed to mind any of it, in fact he always told you he loved you with all your flaws because they made you real, and you were his, and there wasn't anything more perfect than you. You will never find another Johnny and you had to live with it. Maybe in another time, another life, who knows how destiny works.</p>
<p>When you finished you rushed to the kitchen to have breakfast but the time was against you, so you decided to have breakfast in the way, maybe buy a coffee and something sweet. Mindlessly grabbing your keys you noticed they were a little heavier so you looked at them, of course, you grabbed his, when he left he left everything and of course he wasn't going to keep the extra keys you gave him in case of an emergency, or a surprise party or whatever. The reason of why they weighted so much was the key chain, a little heart locket with a picture of you two, that you had too, but it was in the first drawer you found after one of your mental breakdowns, when you decided you never wanted to see a picture of you two together again.</p>
<p>Grabbing your actual keys you left, on the way out you came across the newlyweds from the first floor, you said good morning and rushed down the stairs even faster and almost ran outside. It was like life was joking with you today. Everyday you brushed your teeth and his toothbrush wasn't that obvious, everyday you opened your closet and never noticed his shirts until today, everyday for almost a month you tried to avoid his existence but today, today he was in your house more than ever.</p>
<p>When you arrived at the cafeteria it was collapsed, and looking at the clock you blurted, more loud than what you intended "fuck me", making a mother with her child turn their heads looking at you disgusted. Saying sorry and pulling out google maps to see where the closest cafeteria was you found one two blocks away and started to speed walk. You had less than thirty minutes if you wanted to be on time. The cafeteria was mostly empty and it was huge, it had two doors, one in the main street, and the other one in the less traveled street that you were walking on, and also two counters, one in each side. You went straight to the closest counter and asked for your usual take out breakfast , but when you were about to paid you dropped your wallet, you were so nervous that your hands were mild shaking, besides the empty stomach.</p>
<p>In less than two minutes you got your coffee and your cinnamon roll, and you decided that it was more convenient for you to take the main street. After saying bye and thanks to the employee you headed to the second door, and then you saw him.</p>
<p>Almost in front of you was Johnny, almost as disheveled as you, and when you made eye contact all the memories you were repressing started to come back. The kisses, the laughs, the sex, the movie nights, the long and warm hugs after a long day, waking up next to him, the infinite love confessions, but also the fights, you both ignoring each other, the bickering all the time for dumb shit, the tears, the pain, the loneliness and the cold you both felt within each other over the last few months. But you both made your choice, and you both exited through different doors, accidentally brushing each other shoulders.</p>
<p>Once outside, just before crossing the street, holding the tears you turned around, and saw him walk away, he didn't looked back at you, and you watched him leave for the last time.</p>
<p>“I will love you until the chances of us running into one another slip from slim to zero, and until your face is fogged by distant memory, and your memory faced by distant fog, and your fog memorized by a distant face, and your distance distanced by the memorized memory of a foggy fog.” -Lemony Snicket.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. nobody (him)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Another sleepless night of many, he couldn’t even remember when was the last time he got a nice night of sleep. His mind, his heart, everything was full of her, he changed the sheets a thousand times and they still smelled like her, half of his closet was empty because he didn’t even picked up his stuff the night he left, and the toothbrush in her house was softer than the one sitting in his bathroom.  Everything was wrong, everything he did felt ten times more lonely. </p>
<p>He got out of bed and went straight to the shower. Days weren’t always like this, most of the time he was busy working or with friends, but at nights, and times when he was completely alone, he missed her more than anything. When he finished showering he started to get dressed, and looking in the mirror he realized his white t-shirt had some long brown hairs stick to it. And smiling he pulled them out. He never knew why his girlfriend, well, ex girlfriend now, lost so much hair all the time, it was like a golden retriever. </p>
<p>For him, coffee was a synonym of comfort, but with all the fuss he forgot to order his favorite type and only a few cafeterias in the city sold it, and if he wanted some he had to hurry. In the elevator he held the door open for the elderly couple that lived a few floors below him, they chatted for a little bit and told him they just had another grandchild. He politely congratulated them but a lot of “what if?” filled his head. What if she was the one, the one that to marry with, the one to had kids with, the one to grow old with. What if he let her go? What if he never finds anyone to love or be loved by?. He couldn’t help but get a bit sad again. He knew that breaking up was a mutual decision but, what if they were wrong? What if destiny was proving them? He wasn’t an expert but as far as he knew every couple has up and downs. </p>
<p>Brushing those thoughts away he headed for the closest cafeteria, lucky for him it was almost empty, both of the counters were free so he headed to the closest one and he ordered without even looking at the menu. He decided to pay in cash since it wasn’t that expensive, and opening his wallet he came across a little picture of them in one of they anniversary trips. Since they broke up everything he needed he ordered online, so he didn’t opened his wallet once. He forgot about that little picture they took a few years ago in New York, their first vacay together. Everything seemed to easy back then. So many dreams, so many plans for the future. He forced himself to stop looking at it and he payed, handing the money to the employee who looked slightly annoyed by Johnny’s slow behavior, He waited for his coffee while looking at the phone, trying to answer as many old messages as he could. </p>
<p>Once he got his coffee he decided it was more convenient to take the less crowded street to take a shortcut, standing in front of him, was her. Beautiful as always but with a sad and confused expression on her face, when they made eye contact all the memories hit him like a huge wave. All the love, the comfort, the peace, the kisses, the passionate sex, the promise ring he never gave her, that he will never give anyone else. But also all the sadness, the pain and all the nights wasted fighting came to his mind. With his heart broken but his mind made up he walked right next to her, accidentally, or maybe not, brushing shoulders. </p>
<p>Once out he looked back, and saw her cross the street. Forcing himself to look ahead he left, she didn’t wanted him back, that was for sure. And just like that, the red thread tying them together was cut by distance, and fate.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I will love you as we grow older, which has just happened, and has happened again, and happened several days ago, continuously, and then several years before that. I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where once we were so close that we could slip the curved straw, and the long, slender spoon, between our lips and fingers respectively.” -Lemony Snicket.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>